Sunday, June 10, 2007

happiness is an inside job

the good: we had some good teachers this week. a woman named Franchesca from london taught our class on friday night. it was just what we all needed, since we were completely exhausted from the week. she had so much energy, it was amazing.

also, we finished posture clinic this week! finally! I never thought the time would come. it's weird to look at my dialogue and realize that i know it all now. well, at least the majority of it - i still need to brush up on the additional stuff, and both breathing exercises. but once i learn those, that means i know enough to teach a class! holy shit! i've been debating whether or not to take up an offer i got to teach my first class in chicago when i go the week after graduation. we'll see. i'll definitely practice there.
delivering the final posture was very strange. i went first for my group, just after erika from corvallis did hers. i didn't feel ready, but i couldn't wait any longer. i got the posture verbatim and put all the emphasis in the right places and what not, but when it was all over i just burst into tears. and i don't know why. i was happy, sad, exhausted, thrilled, weirded out... everything! wow. what a nice release though. then after me, my friend primo went. primo is from the islands and is a very chill surfer kinda guy. at the end of his posture delivery, he said "Twist, and twist, and twist, last chance - lick it up, roll it up, burn it up and smoke it, TWIST! Change." it was pretty hilarious.

also, the talent show was this week as well. lots of people had interesting talents to share. the japanese and australian groups did these cute dances, lots of singers/guitar players, one guy played the jaw harp, some people did some funny skits. my favorite was the drum solo by jeremy, who was also a great MC. he's from seattle and he and i have become buddies over the last few weeks. here's a picture from my birthday...

...jeremy really sold the show when he parodied two of our teachers - frank the french guy and craig. for craig, he used words like "manifest, delineate, congruence" etc along with a few notable catch phrases and totally nailed it. even craig was laughing.

and tonight i went out to dinner with the oregon crew, or Team O as i call us.

from left to right: me, charles (soon to be a portlander), carol (corvallis), ron, erika (corvallis), scott (eugene) and shannon. tomorrow is erika's birthday so we celebrated that too.

the bad: we didn't have running water in our room for almost 24 hours. awesome. also, the fire alarm went off during the middle of the day - at least it wasn't at night like the other half dozen times. and my ham strings and hips are SO tight now that i almost can't touch my head to the floor in standing separate leg stretching. i remember the day when i could reach my head to the floor while still standing on my towel. so, i don't think i'll get a number from bikram for touching my head to my toes, because now i can barely touch my head to my knees.

my acceptance of the group dynamic is diminishing. on friday, everyone was running around the studio and dancing and taking all these group pictures, and i was just sitting there just feeling, for lack of a better word, 'over' it all. we still have another week, but with posture clinic being done, it's hard not to get into the mindset. plus, i started to feel strange about my group as we neared the end of posture clinics. since i've done really well since the start, when i got up to do the last few postures, everyone just said things like "oh yeah she always does it perfectly" and even the repeat posture clinic judges i had, they all called me "that girl who we never have feedback for." i guess i should be happy that i'm not "weird girl" (but that name is already taken), or "that girl who sucks" or "what girl who eats mustard packets" or something like that. the way my group was acting just, to me, felt like all my hard work was being invalidated.

so this week, bikram will lecture us on...guess what.... YOGA! FINALLY!!! holy crap, he will actually talk about the 26 postures and 2 breathing exercises we have all dedicated our lives to for the last 8 weeks. ffff.

The word 'hate' belongs no where in our vocabularies, except in reference to yoga postures. - Craig

In camel, you'll find that as soon as you say "ch" people will desperately fling forward. - Craig

never take your finger off the pulse of the class. - Craig

When you teach, teach like you're talking to only one person. And that person is your friend. And you want your friend to come back over and over and over. - Jason Wynn

What are you doing, touching his balls or something?! - Bikram

Do you know how all american companies make money? cheating! - Bikram

every job is a kind of prostitute. - Bikram

Everything i do in my life I never use my brain, and i am the smartest person in the world. - Bikram

women need the tight grip to keep the man - one on the throat and one on the balls. then you squeeze balls, throat, throat balls. - Bikram

Who is from Chile? Colombia... same drug deal. - Bikram

The short bus will be around back to escort you to posture clinic. - Craig (to the group who had the most people left to finish the last posture)

I was laying down one day and wondering what that awaful smell was... then i realized it was my mat. - Shannon

- why does he get away with that shit?
- because he is a douche bag...?
Erika; Shannon, re: a particular student who pours water all over himself and makes a lake on his mat by the 5th posture.


Anonymous said...

Have a great last week!!! It's strange to read how you feel at the end so much so because it's so simmilar to how I felt. I was over it, over all the people, over the yoga, over everything. I just wanted to come home. I loved my group but I always did well in the posture clinics and was tired of hearing o ya she'll nail it she always dose. I was like shit I'm working my ass off here throw me a bone give me some feed back. At least I wasn't the girl who always cried, that was taken. Live it up let your last week be what ever it is. My favorite night of training was the night Bikram did shitoli(sp) breathing his lecture was amazing the first that had made sence yet and the breathing was intense. It's been so long since I've done it I don't know if I remember how you can remind me when you get home. Congrats in advance. See you soon. K
ps please send Erika my love!!

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St├ęphanie Boivin said...

Thank you so much for sharing your experience :) I enjoyed your blog throughout! - Stephanie, a Bikram student since a year, from Montreal Canada