Sunday, April 29, 2007
the 2nd week in review
This is the current view from my balcony.
- i didn't sleep at all between monday and thursday afternoon when i got a nap before the book signing. i would lay in bed each night and just stare at the ceiling with my mind just reeling from practice or lecture of whatever. i think i was awake for about 85 hours, and took class 7 times. i felt run down, but not nearly as tired as i thought i should have been.
- in emmy's class, she kept telling us how lazy and bad we all were and looked at me in camel pose. she asked wtf i was doing, i told her i was injured, and she said "people are not defined by their injuries" so i went further back in the second set and she said "good." in the afternoon class, my back hurt so bad i couldn't even raise my arms over my head without getting shooting pains down my legs.
- shorly thereafter, i decided i don't care for the way she teaches us (but she seems nice outside of class)
- bikram told us we're the fattest group of trainees, ever.
- i cried in every class, twice for the entire duration
- when in posture clinic, bikram interrupted someone delivering the posture to pull up the sagging pants of a demonstrator
- when bikram demonstrated the difference between standing normal and standing with a flexed butt, by yanking his speedo up his butt and flexing. then he shook his ass and showed us how good he is at disco.
- after a big dinner, bikram lectured us until 1:30am, but before he started, he unbuttoned his pants since he was bloated from food.
- at the grocery store yesterday, my friend margerie made a joke about a penguin stuffed animal and we both laughed so hard we had to sit down, and it wasn't even that funny.
- when jim from san diego taught our class and he was so positive and nice and funny.
- maybe you have diarrhea? constipation? your period?? [to a guy who was nervous]
- you think you look so handsome, but you look like a monkey! a monkey's ass!!
- you can blow all other yoga teachers away with just a fart!
- it's like you're sitting on the toilet and pusing and pushing and nothing comes out! BORING!
- your dialogue is still like blaahhhlaalallalllaaa diarrhea! you cant control it without immodium
- hey jesus, can you move my guru 4' to the left? i need to see myself in the mirror
- now i understand you are from korea because you dont understand english!
- raindrops keep falling on my bald head
- why everyone feel pee during my psture clinic? i dont give a fuck if you pee all evening, just not now!
- i have largest and longest mouth in the whole world. i can stop thunder just by talking
- i make the whole world nervous with my mouth
- do you know how to make burritos? [to a mexican girl]
- you know how i got my schools and house and bentleys? my charm! duh!
- what the fuck kind of hair style is that? i thought i had the worst hair!
- excellent dialogue, excellent hair, just dont go in the dark, you will scare babies.
- i want to count how many more of this shit we have left! hold your shitty arms out so i can count! SHIT!
- that's called shitsasana. we'll get to that when you all have digestive issues
- i cant wait to talk for reals once we finish the dialogue shit.
- you never cross the horse in the grass or he kick you in the ass
- i forget the dialogue all the time, but nobody catch me because i do so much other things, i dont even remember where the shit i am and who the fuck all these people are
- just finish this fucking shit some how!
- there is no more fucking flower left to bloom, they are all dead!
- just fucking say you are from vancouver! island, main land, super land... why you talk so much once the dialogue is over?
- after training, if i hear you fight with your boyfriend or girlfriend, guess what? i kill you, then i hang you.
- cut the shit and give me the fucking diallgue! shit!
- i didn't come here in a container like an oriental or on a boat like a cuban!
- you dont go to east LA, you cant even walk they take your pants!
- smile! what the fuck is wrong with you?!
- the biggest criminials in this earth are lawyers! get them the fuck ut of here!
- i love being rich! now i dont have to steal to see jail house rock 22 times!
- use the past as an example to make the future better
- nothing avert my eyes, i saw your arms and boobs at the same time
- [what if the heating fails in class?] what the fuck is with all these negative shit questions? i dont know, what if you have to fart? what if you have to eat shit and die!
- it took me to 28 to lose my virginity. imagine how sad i was!
- last 3 days i only read 7 pages of my book - i fall asleep!
- it's not enough to suffer, you have to watch yourself suffer -Jim
- i can't ever find you in a crowd, all you white people look alike! -Charm